Flucloxacillin

I know we live in a very privileged time and place, and that we’re very lucky to have antibiotics that can make a mere inconvenience out of what would in earlier times and in other places be a matter of life and death. But.

MiniBish2 has just been prescribed some stuff called flucloxacillin which, according to Wikipedia is “a narrow spectrum beta-lactam antibiotic of the penicillin class […] used to treat infections caused by susceptible Gram-positive bacteria [and] active against beta-lactamase-producing organisms such as Staphylococcus aureus, which would otherwise be resistant to most penicillins” and, according to MiniBish2 is “disgusting”. And she’s not wrong. It must be the most foul-smelling, rank-tasting jollop produced since Noah was a boy. Seriously. If you think whisky is horrible, you should taste this stuff.

Now obviously us rational adults, aware that this is the elixir of life and knowing that septicemia and certain death are the alternatives, can put the, ahem, “unpalatable” taste aside and swallow it down like men, but you ain’t going to convince a seven year old to do that. I was seriously worried that her dinner would come up before the medicine went down. And no Mary Poppins, I’m afraid that no amount of sugar will disguise the ghastliness of this concoction.

Perhaps doctors’ children are made of different stuff than those of us civilians, or perhaps this doctor just didn’t have children. Whatever, I tell you all that it is a waste of time prescribing children medicines that taste like they’ve been made by mixing together all the chemicals in the cupboard under the sink, drinking them, vomiting the result into a bucket then straining it through a marathon-runner’s sock into a bottle. Don’t waste your time. And even making it a pretty red colour won’t fool anyone for long.

No. We need banana flavoured antibiotics and we need them now.