Tooth fairy shock

September 6, 2006

Recently, despite her best attempts to hang on to it for ever, MiniBish2 lost another milk tooth. And gosh, don’t they look tiny when they come out? They’re so big when they’re in the mouth, but on their own they are just tiny specks of enamel.

Anyhow, what happens next obviously is that the tooth is placed under the pillow at bedtime, and when you awake the next morning the tooth fairy has visited, taken away said tooth and replaced with a shiny sixpence.

At least that was how it happened back in my day, but all that has now changed.

  • The tooth is placed in a special tooth-fairy box on a bedside table or other handy surface. (Presumably these boxes are endorsed by the tooth fairy, otherwise how would they know what to look for when they came round?)
  • You write a note to the tooth fairy, expressing your wish that you could keep the tooth just this once. The note is placed under the box. Such impertinence would not have been contemplated when I was a lad. If you want to keep the tooth, don’t put it under your pillow.
  • The tooth fairy visits, reads the note and leaves her own note in reply. Now this incidentally provides proof, if proof were needed, that the tooth fairy does not carry pen and paper with her on her rounds because she has apparently had to use ours. It is a tiny card, no bigger than an inch square. Probably worth quite a lot of money because of its rarity, I’m guessing.
  • The tooth fairy nonetheless leaves some money despite going away empty handed. In this case, fifty of our English pence. (That’s rather less than one Euro, or the best part of one US Dollar for the benefit of the global audience.)

So, I ask you, what’s all that about? I always imagined the tooth fairy took away the teeth and did something with them. Don’t know what: build a castle, prepare medicines, whatever. But here she is paying for the privilege of just looking at one. Surely if she didn’t need the actual physical thing she wouldn’t bother taking it. If she only needed to look at it (or sniff it or whatnot) she could save a lot of effort by leaving it along with the money as in this case, but she doesn’t.

I don’t mind telling you this has got me very confused. What if we put the tooth back in the box again? Would we get another fifty pence? It’s not exactly a good living, but you see where I’m going; this could be an endless source of (small) income. Maybe that’s why my mum keeps a box of milk teeth in a drawer at home. Worried about the milk bill? Just pop few out for the fairy and ask them to leave some cash. I wonder where she got those teeth from anyway…

I long for the good old days when everything was simple.

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